Losing Balance
by sparklin-strawberries
Summary: Grissom and Lady Heather did not exactly part on good terms at the end of Lady Heather's Box. How can Gil convince her that he truly is ready to trust her? This goes through the rebuilding of their relationship. Rated M for future chapters. Please R&R.
1. Finding the Courage

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own them. If I did, they'd be together. Do you think if I wrote to CBS they'd send Billy Petersen to be chained up to my bed for my birthday? No? Oh well, a girl can dream.**

_A/N: So, I haven't exactly abandoned **An Innocent Love**, I just don't know where to take it so if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to send them out and I'll try to work them in._

_I'll admit to it…I am a huge fan of G/LH and miss Lady Heather so much. So, I decided to write this as a kind of tribute to all the "whipper" fans out there. I also currently don't have a beta, so any mistakes and plot holes are completely my fault. If anyone is interested in beta'ing for me, please let me know.  
_

**Losing Balance: Chapter 1**

Gil Grissom had now spent the last hour, sitting in his car outside of the house. He kept telling himself that he was just waiting for the perfect moment; for the perfect words. The reality was he was trying to gather the courage to face her again. He told himself that he'd only followed protocol. That was it. He refused to admit that he'd gotten scared and had used the most convenient excuse to pull back from the edge she kept him on.

This is it; I've been sitting here long enough. It's time to make a decision. I could drive away now and no one would ever know the difference. No one except him. He would know that he'd been too much of a coward to face her after her earlier hostility. She had told him once that his biggest fear was being known. She was wrong, that was only part of it. Now, he was also afraid that he was losing his balance. 

He had told her that he knew who he was. The truth of the matter was that he was no longer entirely happy with that. When he was with her, he felt liberated and free to be a human being…to **_feel._** But, it terrified him that it was her personal strength that brought those feelings out in him. He was afraid of truly needing her.

GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH

Lady Heather Kessler had been pacing in front of her window for quite some time. She couldn't understand what he was doing here again. She had believed she'd made it clear that he'd betrayed her trust, and no words could fix that. He'd used his job, as an excuse to pull away from her, and an offence like that would take a while to forgive.

She stopped again to glance down on him, figuring by now he would have backed out again. This wasn't the first time since the murder case involving Chloe had been closed that the lovely Mr. Grissom had been parked outside the house. Oh no, not by far. He had been here at least every other day. He had still not gathered the nerve to approach her.

Something was different as Lady Heather looked down on the car this time. Grissom was no longer in the car, and as she started to scan the grounds for him, she caught the movement of him reaching for the doorbell in her peripheral vision.

GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH GLH

One of the few girls he actually recognized, Jada, answered the door. She was dressed in a red corset and a black skirt that was slit up to almost the top of her thigh on both sides.

"Welcome to Lady Heather's-oh! Mr. Grissom…Lady Heather did not say she was expecting you tonight. I will make her aware of your arrival."

Gil nodded, before realizing the girl had already left. He was starting to believe this really was a terrible idea. What was Heather going to say when she found out he was here? Would she even come down to meet him? She was too proud to have Jada send him away on her behalf. At least, he hoped she was.

He began to nervously wander the entrance hall, taking in the decoration in detail, as he had done so many times before. He had no idea how much time had passed since the door had been opened. _What had it been? Two minutes? Five? Fifteen?_ He had moved from painting to painting, checking out a few of the sculptures as well. He was currently admiring an oil painting of a god-like man, with many women seated around his feet. Many of the women were touching him in some way, as if they drew their strength and will from the lightest touch of his skin.

He froze as he heard the slow, barely-there brushing of heels against the carpet runner on the stairs. Anyone not accustomed to listening for the sounds of her footsteps would have missed it. But, even with his fading hearing, he could feel her presence enter the space. He felt her pause on the stairs, but refused to turn around until she acknowledged him. He would not begin to explain himself if all she planned to do was turn him away.

"Mr. Grissom, I've been expecting you. What has it been…six nights now that you've sat outside in your car, gathering courage to face me."

He hated that she could read him so well, but at the same time appreciated that she only knew his fears…she never judged them.

"I owe you an explanation. I should have given one to you before my apology, but I didn't think of it. Then I was afraid you wouldn't give me the chance."

She allowed her gaze to run from his eyes, to his feet, and back again. As he met her gaze, he saw a hint of forgiveness, and an even smaller amount of something he couldn't name…it seemed almost like…appreciation.

"I guess anyone who is willing to spend that many nights sitting outside my house deserves the chance to explain their reasoning. Come with me, we'll have some tea on the balcony."

As she walked away, he began to thank his lucky charms that she seemed willing to give him a second chance. He vowed to try his hardest never to screw this up again.


	2. Dealing with Emotions

_A/N: Thank you so much to __**bookworm**__ for the excellent ideas. Sorry it took so long for the update, I am a terrible procrastinator. I'm working my butt off to fix it though. Though I do apologize for any errors, I am still lacking in a beta and so it's entirely my fault. Will anyone interested in helping me out please let me know? Is everyone else as excited that Lady Heather is coming back? I'm counting down the days. Now… on with the show (or story as the case may be)._

Losing Balance: Chapter 2 

They were seated on the familiar patio, sipping their tea in silence, as they had been for quite some time. Grissom didn't offer an explanation, and Heather did not demand one of him. She knew that he would open up in his own time. She fully understood that pushing him to open up to her would only cause him to retreat further back into his shell. Vulnerability was not something that came easy to either of them.

Gil had opened and closed his mouth several times in the last few minutes. He was completely aware that he looked like a fish, but had stopped caring some time ago. It wasn't that he was unsure of his feelings for her. He _knew_ how he felt. He just wasn't sure how to formulate the words to make her truly understand the depth of what he felt for her. _I love you_, while it was true and simple enough, was always being tossed around too commonly. It no longer displayed the intensity of the emotion. She, of all people was exceptionally appreciative of the power of words, and the meaning behind them; so he knew he had to choose his next words carefully to get the message across.

"Heather, I…well, what I mean to say is…" he had thought about it and thought about it, but when it all came down to it, there was no words that could accurately describe the way he felt.

She just looked at him intently, smiling slightly at his stammering. He looked so uncomfortable as she just stared at him, but she was determined to wait him out this time. If she allowed herself to be completely honest, she had come to love this mysterious man who hid behind his experiments and his bugs. She had spent too long pushing him away because she knew he wasn't ready to hand himself over to her, but she was done waiting. He had made the choice to come here, and now he was going to say his piece. Then, together, they would make a decision on how this would work out.

At first glance, it would always seem like she was the one in control, because he appeared to be reclusive to the outside world. However the hidden truth was, they would always be equal to each other. Heather had once told him about a woman who wanted "the dominant male to choose her, so she could stop being dominant." That was exactly how things had turned out between them. He was the first man in a long time that she viewed as her equal. And for Grissom, he trusted her enough to relinquish control to her every once and a while. He had no problem giving her the chance to run the show, as long as he also had his moments to be the one to drive things. He decided to try again, telling her how he felt directly, without any fancy words that would stray from the directness of his love for this woman.

"Heather, I was immediately interested in you and your lifestyle from the moment we first met. Then, in that same day, it changed from intrigue to infatuation when you and I discussed the dynamics behind the world of fetishes. You invited me for tea, and shocked me with your ability to read people, especially myself. I found myself falling for you very quickly. And then I managed to push, no…shove you away. The reality that I've realized in the last few days is that when I fell for you, I fell deeply in love with you."

The last sentence he rushed out on a breath. He looked almost afraid of how she would react to this, but only for a moment, because he realized that no matter what her reaction, he could not change how he felt, and so he shouldn't be ashamed. For a few seconds he thought that he'd managed to render her speechless, but, taking a second look at the expression on her face, he found that she was simply contemplating how to respond. She looked across the table at him, and she didn't have to say anything. She had always been one of those people whose eyes conveyed their every emotion. Usually she considered this to be a curse, but today it had proven to be to her benefit. So, she did as she would always do in this situation, she let things go back to the way they had been between them, a quiet trust that forever linked them. She stood up to head into the kitchen, looking over her shoulder to signal for him to follow. She was due to check her glucose levels, and then they could talk more.

He stepped in closer to her as she reached the kitchen counter, almost flush against her back but still not touching her. He was fully aware that she would notice him standing as close as he was, but also knew that she would end up stepping right into him as she turned around. Of course, just as he'd thought, as she turned from the counter, she placed herself right up against him. He hadn't counted on the fact that he'd startle her. Apparently, she had not realized just how close he was.

She looked up at him; her gazes flicking from his eyes, to his lips and back again. She knew exactly what she wanted, but didn't want to give him the false hope that he was completely forgiven, just like that. In the second that she'd taken to debate the decision, he had made it for her. He leaned down to her, lightly brushing his lips against her own. He slipped his hands around her waist as she braced herself against his chest. It wasn't demanding, and it wasn't asking anything more, it was just a tender kiss, offering even more apology for betraying her trust. He began to deepen the kiss, running his tongue over her lower lip as she broke the kiss and pushed him away.

"I love you too, and I appreciate how hard it was for you to come here. But we are not okay just yet. You have a lot of things that you need to work out before this is going to work. We can't continue this unless you understand that it isn't going to be a one night thing between us."

He told her that he understood and agreed with her that they had quite a few kinks to work out in the grand scheme of things. They had now come to an impasse, they could move forward with this, even though it could complicate their relationship severely; or, they could stop and hold out, waiting for a more opportune time.

_So, what should they do? Should they or shouldn't they? As per usual, feed my hungry review hippos. I want to know what people think about my portrayal of the characters. Let me know how you feel about where the story should go. Thank you._


End file.
